Today I was working at my second job (I work as a pastor AND as a workers’ compensation analyst) at The Rawlings Company in Lagrange, KY. One of my duties is to train the next generation of analysts and part of that training is allowing newbies to sit at my desk and watch me work.
I don’t mind having newbies at my desk. I like people. I like to make them laugh. I am a funny guy. At least, I thought I was.
You see, the trainee that sat with me did not think that I was funny. She was intense. She did not seem to think anything was funny. I mean, I was dishing out gold nuggets of hilarity and I was getting a straight face and pursed lips in return. When all was said and done, I just assume she did not have sense of humor.
I would give up one of my other senses in exchange for a sense of humor, I think.
In an effort to rekindle my funny bone, I have decided to list some of the things that I find the most humorous in life:
- My Aspie Son, Cameron. Asperger’s Syndrome is a social condition on the autism spectrum. It basically causes my 12 year old son to say virtually anything that comes into his head…kind of like me, I guess. Between his observations on politics and his advice on race relations, you will simply never know what to expect. My personal favorite was when we told him that the name of his condition was Asperger’s. He asked (completely serious, mind you) if it would be alright if he said Butt-bergers instead (he did not wish to curse).
- Zoolander. There are a lot of movies that I find funny. There is only one that I can quote over and over again, laughing the entire time. I do not think Ben Stiller is funny, but this movie is. If I could, I would send my children to the Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can’t Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too.
- Ketchup Pranks. I am about to confess to the crime of vandalism. But, one of my favorite things to do (a long time ago) was to take the plastic ketchup bottles from inside of a restaurant and place them squarely under the front tire of a vehicle in the parking lot. Watching the red stuff shoot out of the bottle onto the car in the next space never ceases to amaze me.
- Toddlers and Tiaras. It is a show on TLC that I cannot stop watching. There was a marathon the other day and you better believe that I was watching. Redneck moms spend thousands of dollars for their 3 year old to yell at them before smiling in front of effeminate male judges who decide which little girl is the Ultimate Grand Supreme. How could this not be funny?
- Old People Cursing. I do not care for foul language. I am not going to cast judgment and say that it is sinful to swear, but I do think that it reveals a lack of vocabulary in a person that uses regular profanity. The one exception I have is old people. For some reason, when old people start cussing, I can’t hold in the giggles…especially if they are genuinely angry. I had an old guy on the phone at a call center one time that dropped the F-word like it was going out of style. I should have been upset, but instead, I complimented him on some of the most unique usage of that word I have ever heard. So funny.
- People without a sense of humor. Oh…you thought that the girl at the beginning of this post got me down, huh? On the contrary, she made my day. When people don’t get jokes, that’s funny. But when people think that joking is immature or below their station, that is hilarious! Show me someone with no sense of humor and I will show you the funnest person to mess with. It’s like the guards at Buckingham Palace…my own personal episode of Make Me Laugh…
Anyways, that is what I find funny. I did not include any bodily functions or things everyone finds funny. I just wanted to share what was unique to me. Hope you laughed…at least a little…
If not, that’s wonderful…you are boring…
