I work in a large office building (when not at my church). In our office building, there are not enough bathrooms to go around, but we make do. Unfortunately, there is a common threat to anyone who has the urge to take care of some serious business.
“Housekeeping!”
That is correct. Every day, no matter when I go or how sneaky I think I am, when I enter the stall, I immediately hear the call of the housekeeper coming from the door of the men’s room. Sometimes, I think she watches for me to leave my desk, prepared to pounce.
I, or some other poor soul, will yell, “occupied” or “someone is in here”, which is the equivalent of hitting the snooze button, because 5 minutes later…
“Housekeeping!”
While I appreciate our company’s commitment to cleanliness, I think there should be certain rules for the housekeeper:
- Never attempt to clean the restroom right after lunch. This should be obvious. We have ingested large amounts of food and the stalls will be filled. This goes double for Mexican Food Friday.
- Place a timer on the door of the room you wish to clean. Using a countdown clock will let people know not to go in prior to your arrival. It is like the flashing light at the checkout lane that is preparing to close. We are intelligent and do not wish to be embarrassed during this delicate time.
- Find a more gentle word. The harsh word of “Housekeeping” being yelled is alarming. I have almost jumped off of the commode before. Maybe, you could use the plane flight attendant voice and tell us where the exits are, so that we may leave in an orderly fashion.
- Gender-appropriate housekeepers are welcome. If the housekeeper is male, he can come on in. You’re not going to bother me, sir. Let’s go for a multi-gender cleaning crew.
- Extended break times. It occurs to me that I would prefer to do my business at home. So…we should be able to cash in one home-toilet visit per week. We should save it for a true emergency, but it would be nice to have the comfort of home field advantage once in a while.
So, there you go. Tonight, when my wife is in the restroom, I fully intend to knock on the door and yell, “Housekeeping”…
…just to keep things lively.
